


Spooked!

by soongtypeprincess



Series: South Downs Retirement [12]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Cute, Cute Kids, Established Relationship, Funny, Gen, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Married Life, Nonbinary Warlock Dowling, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), Trick or Treating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 19:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21258362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soongtypeprincess/pseuds/soongtypeprincess
Summary: The husbands dress up for Halloween and give out candy to the neighborhood children. But then they receive a surprise visit.





	Spooked!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so their costumes have been done in many fan arts by now, but I don't care; it's a cute idea and was probably Aziraphale's.
> 
> Also, after living in South Downs for a while, the husbands have become all the local kids' honorary grandpas. This is just my head canon.
> 
> Enjoy and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
> 
> *I do not own these characters*

Aziraphale threw on his black cape and snapped the collar of it around his neck.

“I wish the children could have come this year,” he said. “It was always so much fun to trick or treat with them.”

Crowley applied more glitter eye shadow. “They’re teenagers, angel. They have parties to go to, houses to egg…”

“They’d better not!”

“It’s fun, though.”

Aziraphale squirted a dob of mousse into his palms and rubbed them together. He then ran his fingers through his curls, slicking them down the best that he could.

Crowley applied a bit more mascara. “Did your lot ever celebrate Halloween?”

“Of course not,” Aziraphale huffed. “Oh, a few of us entertained the idea. We thought dressing up in cute costumes would be good for morale, you know? Gabriel just scoffed. He said boosting morale wasn’t necessary since we were all angels, as if angels didn’t have permission to be anything but happy all the bloody time.”

“Easy, angel,” Crowley teased.

“I don’t know what went on _ way _ upstairs. Anyway, the only company parties we had were...well, Christmas, naturally. Twice a year.”

“Twice a year?”

“Well, Jesus was born in the summer, you know. It was the humans that started the December tradition and I don’t know where they got the idea of a tree, but Gabriel latched onto it! Every year, at our parties in December, there was an even bigger tree than the year before. I wouldn’t be surprised if they managed to find one bigger than the building.”

“The Tree of Babel,” Crowley quipped. He adjusted the golden rope around his waist. “How did you celebrate Jesus’s actual birthday then?”

“A cake, of course. How else do you celebrate birthdays?”

He could feel the amusement radiating from his husband. “Don’t look at me like that,” Aziraphale said, applying dark eyeliner.

“I can’t look at you?” Crowley asked, feigning hurt. When Aziraphale rolled his eyes, he giggled. “What was the other party you had, then?”

“The second of March,” answered, flatly.

Crowley frowned. “What’s so special about the second of March?”

“The anniversary of The Sound of Music film.”

“Ohhh, one of your viewing parties, then?”

“One of many, yes.”

Crowley snickered. “I thought Gabriel played it on a loop every day.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it, dear.” He put down the eyeliner and looked at him. “What do you think?”

Crowley gave him a loving smile. “You look adorable.”

Aziraphale smirked. “I was going for scary.”

“You can’t make that costume scary, love, even if you tried.”

Aziraphale looked in the bathroom mirror again. “Maybe I do need to add the mustache.” He pursed his lips and looked at his husband.

Crowley groaned. “I’m not drawing your mustache again.”

“You did it so well last time."

“You wouldn’t sit still!”

“It tickled. I couldn’t help it. Please, darling?” He pursed his lips again and gave him _ that look _, the same one he gave when he wanted Crowley to do him a favor.

After 6000 years it still worked.

He sighed. “Alright, hand me the face paint.”

“Thank you,” said Aziraphale, smiling triumphantly.

\--------------

“Trick or treat!!” came the cries of a little ghost, a zombie, and a vampire.

Aziraphale beamed at them, holding a plastic cauldron of sweets. 

“Oh, look at you!” he said. “You all look wonderful!”

“_ Spooky _, angel! They’re spooky!” 

Crowley stepped to his side and smiled down at the children.

“He’s not an angel,” the vampire said. “You are!”

Crowley gasped. “Me?” He moved in a way so his fake white wings could flap.

“Yeah,” said the zombie. “And you’re a devil!”

Aziraphale’s hand flew to his head where his plastic red horns rested. He touched the tip of one and pretended it stuck him.

“Ouch! Oh, that smarts!”

The kids giggled.

One of the mothers behind them said, “You two look brilliant.”

Aziraphale nodded. “Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Which one is little Victoria? I wonder…”

The ghost lifted the sheet over their head and a little freckle-faced girl appeared. 

“Boo!” she shouted.

They both pretended to be frightened, Crowley’s fake halo falling off his head. 

“Oh, goodness!” Aziraphale laughed. 

“I’m not really a ghost, Mr. Fell,” Victoria said.

“You were very convincing, my dear.”

Crowley fixed his halo back on and the vampire, called Stanley, told him, “Cool contacts, Mr. Crowley!”

He grinned. “Thank you, good sir. Well, have fun. Good night!” 

He started to close the door and the kids screeched. “Wait!! We didn’t get sweets!”

Crowley opened the door again and groaned. “What? We gave you sweets last year!”

They giggled as Aziraphale filled their buckets.

The other two mothers spoke softly to their children.

“Stanley, tell Mr. Crowley about your award.”

“And you, David.” 

Stanley looked at Crowley. “Uhhh, oh yeah! I got second place in the art contest at school!”

Crowley smiled. “Awesome!”

David, the zombie, dramatically cleared his throat. “Well, _ I _ got _ first _place in my class spelling bee!”

“Phenomenal!” Crowley said. “Can you spell that one?”

“Uhhhh…” David thought for a moment. “I’ll get back to you!”

They all laughed and Victoria bounced to get their attention.

“I’ve read fifty library books this school year!”

Aziraphale gasped. “Splendid, darling! Well, you all are just so clever.”

“We love your story time, Mr. Fell,” her mother said. “We never miss it.”

“I’m glad! I’m always happy to see young Victoria, front and center.”

Aziraphale loved being retired, and although he enjoyed tending to the garden with Crowley and reading on their front porch with a hot cup of cocoa, he began to get bored with his routine.

One day, when they were in town running errands, Aziraphale stepped into the local library and browsed its collection. He discovered the community board with flyers attached to it that advertised car boot sales, the farmer’s markets, and community theatre productions, but there was one flyer that caught his eye.

It was a new program the library was starting: a weekly story time for children. He inquired about it to one of the librarians and happily volunteered. He began when the school year started, reading to children every Wednesday evening at five, and he enjoyed it immensely.

Crowley would sit in on some of them, leaning against the frame that separated the children’s section with the rest of the library, his arms crossed, and smiling the entire time.

The children adored them both, and so did the parents. Sometimes, the childrens’ older siblings would sit with them and listen to him read.

David’s mother chimed in. “Okay, kids, let’s not keep Mr. Fell and Mr. Crowley. Say thank you.”

“Thank you!” the children said.

Victoria pulled the sheet over her head again and turned to them, waving.

“Happy Halloween!” she yelled.

They waved back. “Happy Halloween, dears!” Aziraphale called after them.

Crowley shut the door and looked in the foyer mirror, adjusting his long curly hair and halo.

“You look wonderful, darling,” his husband said, leaning in to kiss his lips.

Crowley, however, offered his cheek instead. “Ah! No smearing the lip gloss!”

More of the local children stopped by, spooking them with their creative costumes and giggling at their antics. 

They were soon almost out of sweets and Crowley suggested they turn off the porch light. 

“Let people know we’re shut for the evening,” he said.

“Oh, I don’t know, dear,” Aziraphale said, looking into the cauldron of candy. “There might be enough for a few children, I think.”

Crowley gazed in the mirror again. “Not exactly how I used to look, eh?”

Aziraphale smirked. “Oh, darling. Don’t be--”

“I’m _ much _ prettier now,” he said, giving him a cheeky smile.

“Oh! Crowley!” he laughed as his husband pulled him closer. 

He took the cauldron from his arms and set it on the foyer table under the mirror. 

“You really do make an adorable little devil, my love.” 

Aziraphale grinned and took one of the ends of the golden rope that was cinched around his thin waist. 

“And I forgot,” he muttered, “how absolutely _ divine _ you look in robes.”

Crowley’s face flushed, his golden eyes and glittery eye shadow shimmering in the porch light that shone through the door’s window.

“You even brought back your glorious curls.” He gently gathered up his husband’s red locks in one hand and slowly pulled.

Crowley sighed as he craned his neck. “You _ are _ a good devil, tempting me to submit to your--Ah!”

His hair was pulled harder and Aziraphale gently pressed his lips to his neck.

“I don’t _ need _ to tempt you into submission,” he whispered against his skin.

“Oh...angel…” Crowley moaned.

Azirpahale giggled, kissing his neck again. “I’m not the angel tonight, my darling.”

He released him from his grip and Crowley took hold of Aziraphale’s hips.

“You like my lip gloss?” he asked with a wicked grin.

“Mm, I do, dearest. It looks beautiful on your gorgeous lips.”

Crowley’s smile grew bigger as he unzipped Aziraphale’s trousers. “I know where else it could look beautiful.”

Aziraphale now blushed. “You naughty angel.”

They giggled, and just as Crowley was about to get onto his knees, the doorbell rang.

He sighed as he fixed his husband’s trousers. “I told you about the light.”

“We’ll continue this later, dear,” Aziraphale told him. “I promise.”

Crowley opened the door and was met by…

...no one.

He frowned as he stepped onto the porch and looked around.

“I know you’re hiding,” he announced to the darkness in front of him. “You think I’ve never heard of ‘Ding Dong Ditch?’ I invented it!”

Aziraphale picked up the cauldron of candy and stepped outside. 

“What in the world are you talking about?” he asked.

He turned to face him, his back to the front yard, saying, “That’s where you ring someone’s doorbell and then run off. I first did it to Charles Dickens after he wrote--”

A car horn suddenly blared behind him and they both jumped. Crowley turned to the noise and squinted into the headlights of the vehicle, not seeing the two skeletons in the bushes in front of him.

Aziraphale did and he screamed, dropping the candy. Crowley was too busy trying to figure out if his Bentley actually came to life finally, when the skeletons jumped onto the steps and roared.

Crowley shrieked, his halo falling off, and he stumbled backwards, but one of the skeletons caught him.

“Oh, shit!” it said. “Uncle Ant! It’s okay!”

The car horn stopped and its lights turned off, and one of the skeletons took off its mask. 

“Happy Halloween, Nanny!”

“Warlock?” Aziraphale called out through the partially open front door. “Is that you? You little monster!”

“Thanks, Francis,” they laughed.

They helped Crowley to his feet and the other skeleton revealed itself to be Adam Young.

Crowley brought both of them into a tight hug. 

“For Someone’s sake!” he growled, kissing them on the tops of their heads. “You remember the last time you scared me like that?”

“No,” said Warlock. “I wasn’t here.”

“He totally snaked out,” Adam told them, with a cheeky smile. “And hid in Ezra’s coat pocket the rest of the night.”

“What the hell?” Warlock laughed.

Crowley playfully ruffled their heads, messing up their hair. 

Aziraphale stepped outside again and was greeted with a big hug, as well.

“What a wonderful surprise! Albeit spooky,” he said. “What are you doing down here?”

Warlock picked up all the candy that had dropped while Adam explained, “Harvey’s parents have a house on the beach. He invited me to a big Halloween party they’re throwing tonight so I’ll be staying over there.”

“Wait, who’s Harvey again?” Crowley asked.

“Oh, dear,” Aziraphale replied, “you remember Harvey. He’s the boy Adam met last Christmas when we went to Saddlescombe Farm.”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “Oh, yes, I remember now. You made me construct a wreath out of dead leaves.”

“It was festive!”

“For _ you _, angel. At least the cider was spiked.”

“The cider wasn’t spiked, dear.”

Crowley grinned. “Mine was.”

“Anyway,” said Adam, “I invited Warlock so we’re staying over at Harvey’s. Maybe we can all meet for breakfast in the morning? If that’s okay?”

Aziraphale smiled, “Of course, it is! What a silly question.”

“Who’s in the car, then?” Crowley asked.

“Oh...um…” Warlock muttered, holding the cauldron now. “That’s um...Stephen.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow. “Stephen, eh?”

“Uh huh.”

“Boyfriend Stephen?”

“Now, dear,” Aziraphale groaned, rolling his eyes. “Warlock is 17; they can date if they want.”

Crowley stepped off the porch and toward the car.

“Nanny! Please don’t do anything!”

“I’m just going to talk to him!” 

They all watched as the driver side door opened and Warlock cringed.

“Oh, God, please don’t embarrass me,” they whispered.

Stephen got out of the car and shook Crowley’s hand, who then put his arm around his shoulders and led him to the cottage.

“Ezra!” he called as they got closer. “This fine young man is Stephen. Stephen, my husband, Ezra.”

“Or Francis. I don’t mind either.” Aziraphale stepped to the edge of the porch. “How do you do, Stephen?”

“Very well, thank you, sir,” the boy replied, grinning nervously. "Sorry about scaring you; it was Warlock's idea."

Aziraphale grinned. "We believe you."

“So, what are your intentions with our god-child?” Crowley asked.

“Darling!” Aziraphale scolded.

“Oh my God, Nanny,” Warlock blushed.

Adam couldn’t contain his laughter. It was too easy to embarrass Warlock.

Stephen stammered, “Uh...well...I mean, we’ve been dating for a year, but I mean…”

“Ignore him,” Aziraphale said.

They chatted a bit more until it was time for them to leave for the party.

“Text us in the morning,” Crowley said. “We’ll tell you where breakfast will be.”

“Sure, Uncle Ant,” Adam said, hugging him before getting in the backseat of Stephen’s car. 

They shook hands with Stephen and Crowley put something in his hand.

Stephen looked at it and blushed, but put it in his pocket. “Um...thanks? Nice to meet you.”

“Be sure to sober up before you--”

“Um, I don’t drink, Mr. Crowley.”

“Good,” he said, giving him a hard pat on the back and a big smile.

After Stephen got in the car, Warlock approached Crowley.

“Nanny, what did you give him?”

“A condom.”

Warlock gasped. “Nanny!”

“What’s happened?” Aziraphale asked, stepping to Warlock’s side.

“Francis, Nanny gave Stephen a condom!”

Aziraphale shrugged. “Okay...and?”

“Oh my God…” they groaned.

“You never know, dear!” 

“Thank you!” Crowley said as he put his arms around Warlock and gave them a hard squeeze. 

“It’s your life goal to embarrass me, isn’t it?" Warlock whispered with a grin.

Crowley giggled. “Count your blessings I didn’t ‘snake out’ in front of your boyfriend, you little Hellspawn.”


End file.
